Visiting your favorite smoke shop can be thrilling. The earthy-sweet smell of Nag Champa, employees stirring about, and that fancy three foot bong - you’ve always wished you could afford - familiarly collects dust in the corner. But something doesn’t feel right. Perhaps it is those foreboding signs which warn rhyming with song or soul will ensure your removal? Does your excitement slightly dim as you mull over a small selection of items… kind of in your price range? If this sounds familiar, I am here to tell you there is a better way: finding a trusted smoke shop online!


10. It’s just cheaper

As you may have guessed the shear cost of operating a brick and mortar can be astronomical. What isn’t so obvious is that prices are also raised to cover some of the larger ticket items. Remember that beautiful three footer? Well it was bought outright three years ago, and the owner has been out of hundreds - maybe thousands - ever since. These pressures don’t exist for an online shop, because products come to you directly from the seller. Let’s face it, nobody likes dealing with the middleman. Your overflowing stash jar can thank me later.


9. Find Great Deals

Again because of the lower operation cost it’s easier for online shops to provide their customers with deals. When was the last time you saw a coupon for your local pipe shop? Sure there’s the 4/20 sale once a year. But we are usually, um… busy, that day. Online shops are almost always running some sort of promotion allotting their customers some big savings.


8. Easy and Fun Gifting

Thankfully in the smoking community, gifting is never a problem. Any stoner is overjoyed to get even the smallest token, when bought from the right place. Buying online and shipping directly to the giftee, makes for an easy way to share what we love with those who mean the most. And who doesn’t love getting a surprise package!? Even when it’s just that deodorant you forgot from the r/freebies subreddit.


7. Comparison Shopping

One of the best parts of choosing an online smoke shop is, it becomes effortless to compare prices and products. Not only from pipe to pipe, but site to site. It’s the only way to guarantee you are getting the best price and quality because you are doing the research yourself. Many online shops even offer free shipping to ensure they are bringing you the best deal.


6. Incognito Mode

For those of you in the more lucrative states we envy you. As we live in a conflicted time, where all smokers are not created equal. Which means some of you are teachers, parents, local government officials, and others who just aren’t ready to come out to the world about your passion for smoke culture. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some way these products could just show up on our doorsteps in unmarked packages!? Oh… wait. Shopping online means ditching the hoodie and sunglasses, along with the paranoia of running into one of those gossipy moms from the PTA.


5. Wider selection

When going to your local shop there is a physical limit to how much they can keep in stock. Online the shelving space is infinite. Most site owners want to work for their customers. When asked to stock additional merchandise they can do so easily because they can connect directly with the distributor. This allows shoppers greater access to the brands they value most.


4. No Sales Pitch

The biggest annoyance of modern retail is likely the “up-sell.” You want to spend about a hundred bucks? Let me show you this, only 150$! Unfortunately, the stoner community usually finds the up-sell off putting. As a people who strive to be genuine and open, a straightforward sale works best. And what’s more straightforward than only dealing with yourself? The worst sales pitch you’ll find with an online shop is a quick query to ask, “Hey, add a pack of hempires!?” And I suppose we will allow that, because… yes Dominos, I did forget to order those lava cakes.


3. Saving Time

This one is kind of a no brainer. Shopping online for anything is a time saver. It might be difficult to have to wait a few days to take that first toke out of your shiny new treasure, but it will be worth it. Picture yourself now, checking the tracking number, seeing it delivered around 3 PM. Knowing you are just a few short hours away from the real happy hour! No Nancy, I can’t help you with a pic stitch of your cats. I have a lot of errands to run. All the while the errand was done yesterday morning while you sipped coffee in just a bra and slippers! Mwuhahahaha… stupid Nancy!


2. Shop Your Way

Speaking of which, you could shop in the buff too! You can bring your dog. You can enjoy your smokeables while you shop! You can eat a bowl of cereal. I guess, even shop while you take a moment on the porcelain pony. Just don’t eat the cereal while on the porcelain pony. Gross. And WASH YOUR HANDS YA FILTHY ANIMAL! And last but never least…


1. Community: We’re taking it back!

You might be saying, but Allison, I like going to the shop to talk to other buyers and sellers. There is a sense of community there, a vibe that I just won’t get from an online shop. And I agree with you 100%, which is why here at Stoned Classy we have started this blog. It’s a space to bring that community feel to the online smoke shop! We want to hear what artists and companies you love. We want to interact with our customers and provide quality products and news of interest for the classiest of stoners.

By: Allison Scherer


  • August 01, 2015
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